How a Scotsman Found His Dream Woman

How a Scotsman Found His Dream Woman
And His Dream Woman Waited For Him

Nicky and Jenn Farmer
May 27th, 2006

Jenn: I Didn’t Know God Had a Plan!
In my teenage years, Jesus saved me and began to change every area of my life. Before meeting Jesus, I was, in the words of my mother, “boy crazy.” My goal in life was to find a boyfriend or to try and keep one. Thankfully, God spared me, and I was not very successful, even though I tried hard. When I was 16, I felt like He was telling me I needed to give Him the area of my love relationships, and that if I did, He would bring me the man of His choosing. (If it was in His plan to do so.) Out of everything that Jesus asked me to do, this was the most challenging. Boys had been my life for so long. However, what God calls us to do, He always gives the grace to accomplish as we look to Him. And it was only by His grace and mercy that I was able to trust Him those five years that I remained single. As time went by, God began to renew my mind. Therefore, instead of trying to find the man of my dreams, I spent the rest of my teenage years becoming the woman that God wanted me to be, and also a woman that this man, wherever he was, would want.

Nicky: My Deal with God
I was born and raised in Scotland, and when I was 20, Jesus Christ saved my soul. Soon after this, I was dating a certain young lady, and one Sunday we went to church together. To this day, I do not know what the minister preached on, but during his sermon the Lord made one thing very clear to me. Namely, that the relationship I was involved in with this young lady was not pleasing to him and was not leading directly to marriage. I obeyed the Lord in this matter by explaining to my lady-friend that it was not God’s will for us to be together and that we should stop seeing each other.
This incident prompted me to speak frankly to the Lord, “Lord, I’m through with women until you bring me my wife. The next person I date will be my wife. Lord, you bring her to me, show me who she is, I’ll ask her to marry me, and she’ll say ‘yes’”. That was the deal I made with God. It seemed to me that the modern process of dating was somewhat a waste of time, money and emotions. Not to mention dangerous. After all, if God had a plan for my life, didn’t he know exactly who I was supposed to marry? Didn’t he know the exact personality I needed? Didn’t he know what the future held for me and what kind of person would compliment that future? In fact, if it was God’s will for me to marry, hadn’t he already made that person for me?
After this, I stayed well away from young ladies. Even if I met a sweet, godly young lady, I would not get into any friendly conversations with her. If God was going to do this, He certainly didn’t need my help.
Jenn: “No, Not Nicky!”
Unlike Nicky, I was not born in Scotland, but in Michigan. When I was 16, a friend invited me to a church where I started to learn what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus. In 2001 I also became involved in the Shadrach Youth Discipleship Ministry which is where I first met Nicky. When I heard his Scottish accent, I was hoping to talk to him a little, as I have always had a love for people from other countries. Because I was 17 and Nicky was 25, I really wasn’t thinking of him as a potential candidate for marriage. At the end of the weekend we were cleaning, and I asked him if he’d taken the trash out of the girls’ restroom. He made a joke about it and I remember feeling silly for asking. As my group was heading home, Nicky stopped the van and asked me to forgive him for what he said. I was stunned. As we drove away, respect for him was growing in my heart. The following retreats throughout the next few years confirmed that he was indeed a godly man, and I really looked up to him as a brother in Christ.
After the 2003 summer retreat, I was spending time with Carla, my pastor’s wife. Out of the blue she asked me if God had been drawing me to any certain young man. I asked her who she had in mind, and she responded, “Nicky.” I immediately said, “No, not Nicky!” My rejection of him was due to the fact that I did not like the way he dressed. The worldliness that was still in my heart immediately ruled him out as a possibility for marriage. The conversation ended. However, the next day as I thought more about it, I realized that I couldn’t dismiss him because of such a shallow reason. At that moment I recognized, maybe for the first time, that I respected him more than any other young man I knew. I opened my mind to this possibility, just in case God wanted to do something.
Two months went by, with not much thought about this situation. I was attending some special meetings in Parker City, Indiana when I heard that Nicky might be flying in from Scotland to come. During the first service we were singing the opening song when I happened to look back at the moment Nicky walked into the sanctuary. It was not an emotional time, yet the moment I saw him, I started weeping but my heart was also filled with such joy. This lasted for several minutes. I didn’t understand what was going on. I thought that surely I must have worked it up. The service continued and I pretended nothing had happened. I didn’t talk to him that weekend, and I definitely did not mention this experience to anyone.
A whole year went by until I saw Nicky again. During this time, I was going to school at Anderson University. As I was on campus I met many different nice young men and I wondered if maybe God had one of them for me. Somehow God said “no” to each one I had thought about. The next summer in 2004 I was back at home and spent a lot of time with Carla. Neither she nor I ever mentioned Nicky since that summer before, yet we spoke a lot about marriage. It was during one of those conversations when God began to take out of my heart all of the worldly desires I still had about my future husband, such as the dress issue. He showed me that it was more important to have a man who loved God, who loved me, who was honest and trustworthy, rather than the silly requirements built up in my daydreams from long ago. I had known this in my head, but God needed to change my heart. And thankfully, He did.
At the end of that summer we had our Shadrach week-long retreat and both Nicky and I were there. The whole week my heart was drawn to him in a way I had never experienced before. One night we all prayed for his future which included his future wife. As they prayed, my heart burned within me and I sat there thinking, “I really want this to be me. Yet, surely God must have someone else for him since God has such a call on his life.” The camp ended and nothing happened. However, these feelings were not going away. All I could do was keep giving them to God and trust that if this was His plan, that He would work things out in His time.

Nicky: First thoughts of Jenn
After the summer retreat in 2004, I was visiting a church in West Virginia. It had been five-and-a-half years since I made my deal with God. A wonderful man of God, named David McKinney, approached me after the meeting and said that he had something on his heart he felt he was supposed to share with me. He told me about a young lady named Jenn Johnson who we both knew of, and how when he was introduced to her for the first time, immediately the Lord showed him that he was to pray for her while she was at college. That was all he said. I thought, “That’s strange, Lord. Why in the world would this precious man feel impressed to share this prayer burden with me about a young lady?” I decided to enquire of the Lord, to see if this young lady was supposed to be my wife. I returned to Scotland, and I began to pray about this every day.

Jenn: Things begin to Happen
About a month after the retreat I was talking with Karin, the director of the Shadrach ministry. Out of the blue she asked me the same question that Carla had asked a year before. This time my answer was the opposite of what it had been before. With no hesitation I told her that there was a young man that I felt drawn to. We had no idea how Nicky was feeling about the whole situation, (or if he had even thought about it at all!) so we began to take it to the Lord in prayer to see what to do next.
A little while after that conversation I had another interesting experience. I was listening to the recordings from the Shadrach 2004 retreat when I got to the time when we prayed for Nicky. When they started praying for his future wife, the same thing happened to me as when I had seen him at the back of the sanctuary: I started weeping, yet my heart was filled with joy. I thought, “Surely I must be working this up again!”
A month later, Karin told me that Nicky was also seeking God about marrying me and that he had asked Pastor Schultze to pray with him about it. (Pastor Schultze was my pastor while I was at college, and was also Nicky’s from when he was here in the States.) She then asked me how I was feeling about the whole situation. I stopped for a moment and searched my heart. I replied, “I feel like I haven’t had a huge revelation about it, but I have absolutely no hesitation about marrying him and I do about any other guy I’ve ever met.” As I look back on this, it must have been God. I barely even knew him, but I felt so certain in my heart that I had no hesitation about spending the rest of my life with him! A week later I received an e-mail saying that Pastor Schultze had spoken with Nicky and that Nicky would probably be contacting me in a couple of days. I was so thrilled! I went home for fall break and spoke to Carla about it for the first time since a year and a half before when she first mentioned Nicky.
That weekend, while I was up in my room having devotions, God started speaking to me about Nicky. I felt like He was showing me how he wanted me to love Nicky and serve him and get behind him in whatever ministry God was going to give him. I wasn’t to be concerned about him loving or serving me, but I was to do my part and do it joyfully. I told Carla about it the next day and she said God really worked in her heart when I shared it with her. I was so excited that my dream was finally coming true. I went back to school, eagerly anticipating a word from Nicky.
Nicky: I Want to Be Certain
Even though I had prayed about it every day for many months, I still had no word from God if I was to marry Jenn. So I called my pastor and told him about it. I asked him to pray for me and to tell me if the Lord revealed anything to him. A few weeks later, he called me back. This is what he said: “Nicky, if you feel it is God’s will for you to marry Jenn, that is fine by me. If you feel that it is not God’s will to marry Jenn, that’s fine by me too. However, I will tell you that Jenn has sought council from my daughter and son-in-law about this matter because she feels that you might be the one that the Lord has for her.”
My pastor is a very wise man of God. He knew that even if the Lord had shown him something, he had to be very careful about admitting that to me. He knew that with a decision as big as marriage, each one should be fully convinced in their own mind and spirit as to the will of God, or it could lead to negative consequences later on.
This phone call with my pastor persuaded me of the urgency of this matter. Here was a young lady who felt that the Lord might be calling us together. Therefore, I felt that it was my responsibility as a man to get to the bottom of this matter with God and let Jenn know as soon as possible. That way we could do something about it or forget it and get on with our lives. While Pastor Schultze and I were on the phone, he mentioned that it might be good to e-mail Jenn so we could talk a little. I usually obey everything my pastor says, but I didn’t want to e-mail Jenn and later find out that it was not God’s will for us to be together. That would crush her. I knew it didn’t have to be that way so I continued to pray.
Jenn: Excitement Turns to Disappointment
A week after I started classes again, I got a message from Karin saying that there was some miscommunication, and that Nicky wouldn’t be contacting me after all. I was a little taken aback and my excitement quickly turned to disappointment. Every day following I checked my e-mail, thinking that God would speak to him and then he’d write to me. However, weeks went by and there was no word from Nicky.
That December we had a Shadrach weekend at my home church in Michigan. Nicky had moved to West Virginia at the time and he drove up to take part in the weekend. It was quite awkward when we saw each other for the first time. I had hoped something would happen that weekend, but to no avail!
During Christmas break I was talking to Pastor Mike and Carla. I couldn’t take the waiting any longer so I asked if they had heard anything. Pastor Mike had talked to Nicky when he was in Michigan but said that Nicky still didn’t know if it was God’s will. I knew that I needed to change my mindset right then that if this whole thing was going to happen, it wouldn’t be for a year or so. I knew I couldn’t keep living like it was going to happen any day. That helped a little, but then the doubts came flooding in: “Did I even hear from God; is this even going to happen?” It was a great struggle, but I started to pray, “Lord if this is not your will, please show me now. And if it is your will, please help me to know for certain.” Jesus really helped me those next couple of months to surrender the whole thing to Him, and focus on His plans for my day to day living as I waited for whatever He wanted to do next.
Nicky: A Powerful Experience
We saw each other again at the next retreat which was in March. We had a couple of conversations together, but nothing serious. Some interesting things happened in May 2005 though, that helped me along the journey of this decision. I was with the man who was called to pray for Jenn and He told me that he felt Jenn and I needed to get together to at least talk. I was not too partial to that suggestion as I’d almost given up on the whole thing. Soon after, however, I received a phone call from Karin, asking me to drive up to Indiana to help promote the Shadrach Ministry at a Christian convention. After praying about it, I felt that the Lord would indeed have me go there. A few days later, I suddenly realized that there was a good chance that Jenn would be there too, and that it would be an ideal chance for us to speak casually. I figured that I should call the director back immediately and ask her if she would invite Jenn also. “Wait a minute”, I thought, “No way! God, if you want Jenn and I to be together, YOU better get her to that convention.”
On the morning of the convention, I walked toward the booth that we were to man and who did I find, but Jenn Johnson? It turned out that she was originally not supposed to be there. This Saturday was the busiest day for her part- time job as a Resident Assistant at the college she attended and there was no way she could get time off to come to the convention. Jenn had already told our director that she could not make it. But sometime between my prayer to God and that Saturday morning in early May, Jenn’s boss told her that she could take part of the morning off to travel to the convention to help out for a few hours.
I greeted Jenn and the others manning the booth and we went to work distributing literature and chatting with people. Suddenly, after only about five minutes of being there, I began to have one of the most powerful experiences in the Spirit. It seemed like the presence of God was upon me in such a way that I was in a place of total euphoria. The others had no idea what was happening to me as I looked normal from the outside. Yet, God’s presence was so overwhelming that I thought I ought to sit down before I fell down! After a few hours of this, I asked the Lord to have mercy on me because it was so exhausting to endure such an experience. Eventually, it faded away. During this time, Jenn and I were able to have some basic conversations about our lives and our interests in Jesus Christ.
Jenn: Learning to Recognizing God’s Voice
After the convention I took a summer class in Anderson. I was staying with a family that God had brought me together with. One night a lady was mentioned who would minister to people after her family supper time and pray with them. I said, “That would be so amazing to do something like that.” Julia, a friend of the family, looked at me a couple minutes later and said, “Jenn, when you said that, I feel like God is saying that He has something like that for you.” When those words were spoken, God’s presence came on me and the same thing happened to me that had happened those times with Nicky; I started weeping but my heart was filled with such joy. This time in my heart I knew God was saying, “Yes, this is true.” I had completely stopped crying when Julia repeated what she had told me to someone who just came in the room. The moment she spoke those words the second time, the same thing happened to me again! After this happened, it became clear to me that these feelings, tears, and joy that I was experiencing were one of the ways that God speaks to me. Because the two previous experiences had to do with a young man, I had wanted to be extra careful.
After my class was over in June, I went home. I knew that I needed to talk to Carla about what had happened. One night I shared with her the two experiences that I had about Nicky. As I relayed it to her, God showed up and we both felt God’s presence in a powerful way. I knew God was saying to me, “Yes, that was me.” Then Carla reminded me of the time when God showed me about loving Nicky and getting behind him in his ministry and how God worked in her heart when I shared that too. Finally after nine months, I knew for certain that it was God’s will for Nicky and I to be married
Even though I now knew it would happen, I still had no idea when.
Nicky: This couldn’t possibly be wrong!
Sometime after the convention, I was back in Scotland, chatting to the Lord about Jenn. I said to Him, “Lord, I know that I haven’t had any massive spiritual experiences about Jenn, but I have this growing assurance in my heart that this couldn’t possibly be wrong.” Suddenly, I corrected my self, “Nicky, if what happened at the convention wasn’t a massive spiritual experience, then what in the world is?!”
With this growing assurance of God’s will, it also occurred to me that by God’s grace, ever since I had forsaken all to follow Him, my life had been on the beam of His perfect will. I was aware that I had a choice. God does not force his will upon us. Yet, I knew that if I chose not to respond to what God was now making clear to me, I would be making the biggest mistake of my life.
Accordingly, I prayed, “Lord, I believe that it is your will for me to marry Jenn, but if for some reason I am wrong about this, I am giving you two weeks to stop me. In two weeks time, I will take some kind of action to start things rolling with Jenn.”
Now the good Lord, in his wonderful mysterious way, wasted no time at all in responding to that prayer. In fact, He confirmed it the next day!
I had scheduled to give an older lady in our church a ride to a women’s dinner. As I was dropping her off, I was invited to join them, since this was the only month of the year that the men were invited to come also. An after-dinner speaker was invited to share a testimony of how God had worked in his life. At the end of his address he offered what seemed to be a spontaneous, unplanned word of encouragement for the audience. He said, “If there is anyone here considering marriage, I have one thing to say to you.” Considering marriage?! I figured that I qualified, given what I said to the Lord the day before. Then he said what was on his heart: “Imagine that God has measured you according to the woman that he had given you to marry.” When I thought about God measuring me according to Jenn, and how Jenn was the sweetest, most godly young lady that I had ever met, I started to weep a little. I thought, “That is one of the greatest compliments that God could pay me!”
I’d had enough. I asked God to stop me if I was wrong, and the very next day, instead of stopping me, he was cheering me on!
I shared my intentions with Jenn’s pastor and he told me that she was going to be at their house the next day.
At 10:00 PM, on the 13th July 2005, in my parents’ home in Dollar, Scotland, I picked up the telephone and began to dial Jenn’s pastor’s phone number. Knowing my intentions, I thought, “When my finger hits the last digit in this phone number, our lives will be changed forever.” That sounded pretty good to me. I did not have a doubt in my mind. God had made it clear.

Jenn: The Unexpected Proposal
During a short break from my summer class, I stopped by Pastor Mike and Carla’s house for a visit. I had an excited feeling as I drove up, but all hopes were dashed when I was asked to do a couple of chores for the church. In the middle of my working, I heard Pastor Mike calling my name. He said, “Jenn, you have a phone call.” I thought, “Who is calling me? No one knows that I’m here.” He then said with a grin, “It’s someone from Scotland.” My face turned all red. “Is this really happening?” I thought. We had never spoken on the phone before. I took the phone and said with a shaky voice, “Hello?” I was really nervous.
“Hi Jenn, this is Nicky Farmer.” We proceeded with some small talk about the last Shadrach camp that Nicky had missed. Soon, however, he brought up the purpose of the call: “Well, the reason I’m calling is I’d like to ask you a question. I’ve been praying about it for quite some time and I was wondering how you’d feel about being my wife.”
I just sat there in awe. I couldn’t believe after all those months that God had done it! After a slight pause I said, “You don’t know how long I have waited to hear you ask me that.” It was a wonderful end to my season of waiting and an exciting beginning of the life that God had for us. Outside the door from the room where we spoke, I heard Pastor Michael and Carla shout, “Surprise!”
Nicky: God Has a Plan for It All
Of course, there was one small problem. Namely that we were on opposite sides of the Atlantic and I did not yet have a visa to enter the United States. We did a fair share of emailing and talking on the phone during this time. Two months later, the fateful day arrived when I was able to fly to the States and see Jenn for the first time since our engagement. On the 25th of September 2005, I walked through the concourse of Indianapolis International Airport arrayed in my full Scottish kilt outfit. When I met Jenn, I got down on one knee and re-proposed to her in person, much to the amusement of various onlookers.
Since the Lord revealed to me who I should marry, I figured that He probably had an idea of when our wedding day was to be. So I prayed that the Lord to lead me. Taking a calendar, I flipped through the months: October, November, December…March, April, May. When I got to May, I knew in my heart that was when we were to be married. This also worked out well for Jenn, giving her time to complete her senior year at college and arrange the wedding. I had wanted to get married right away and didn’t see the point in waiting, but I’m glad that the Lord knew best. Yes, the 27th May 2008 is a day that Jenn and I will never forget.
I just want to thank Jesus for his faithfulness in bringing us together. He made us for one another from the day we were born. He put in us everything that the other person needed. We have found that we have perfect agreement with each other on every major life issue. It has been over three years now since the day I proposed to Jenn. Jesus has opened up a door for us to be in full time ministry, which is a whole story of its own. God has also given us a son named Lucas. We are excited to see what else God has in store for us as we seek first His Kingdom together.

How a Scotsman Came to Kokomo

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How a Scotsman Came to Kokomo

Many people have asked me how I ended up in Kokomo, all the way from the village of Dollar, Scotland. Here is the answer:

When I was about twelve years old, I told my mother that I would no longer attend Sunday School because to me, Jesus fell into the same category as Santa Claus: a fictitious character which my parents lied to me about.

Later, I traveled to the USA to be a door-to-door book salesman during my summer break from college. I met thousands of people during that time, including Christians. They always wanted to tell me how Jesus Christ had changed their lives. At first, I didn’t understand it, but later I realized that there must have been some truth in it because I could see that their lives really were different: they had love, peace, joy and order in their lives. Instead of trying to get rid of me when I knocked on their doors, they tried to do whatever they could to love me! Some offered me a cold drink, others invited me for dinner. One lady even made me use her phone to call my mother in Scotland and tell her I was safe and well. As I walked away from her house, suddenly I broke down in tears because I couldn’t understand why she loved me. The love of God pierced my cold, sinful heart.

One family invited me to their small church where there were many committed Christians. The first thing the pastor said was, “Before we even start the service this morning, God has laid it on my heart that there is someone here who needs to give their life to Jesus Christ.” I knew in my heart that God was speaking to me and that I had a decision to make. Either I could live the rest of my life for myself, and suffer the consequences, or I could live for God. So I bowed my head, and prayed, “Lord, I’ve been living my life for the wrong reasons. If you will come into my heart, then from now on, I will make every decision based on what you want me to do, and not what I want to do.”

Despite the initial joy and hope of finding the Lord, after a few years, I realized that I had gone from being a miserable sinner to being a miserable Christian. Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) This clearly contradicted my experience, so I told God that he could do utterly anything with me if only I could have this abundant life that Jesus spoke of. In answer to that prayer, God brought me to Kokomo, Indiana to learn how to walk with Him from a German man of God called Reimar Schultze. When I came to the point of total surrender to the will of God in every area of my life, my Christian life really began. Jesus said, “Any of you who does not forsake (renounce, surrender claim to, give up, say good-bye to) all that he has cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:33 The Amplified Bible)

Now my life has changed in every area. Every day I praise Jesus for delivering me from eternity in hell. I had sinned, just like you have sinned. Sin is anything that we think, say, or do, that grieves the loving heart of God. Breaking any one of the Ten Commandments is sin. For example: Is anything more important in your life than God? Have you ever cussed? Have you always dedicated one day of the week to worshipping God? Have you ever dishonored your parents in any way, or harbored anger in your heart towards anyone? Have you ever lusted after someone? Have you ever stolen, lied, or spoken behind someone’s back? Have you ever been greedy for what others have? One sin is enough for us to spend eternity in hell and there is no good deed that we can do to cover up our past sins. However sinful I was, I have been cleansed of that by Jesus’ death on the Cross and I have been released from slavery to sin. God has given me the daily joy of walking with Him hand in hand. I have repented of all my sins and I let Him empower me to live a holy life. I have peace with God, peace with men, and peace with the circumstances of my life.

I may not know you, but the reason I posted this is because that I care where you spend eternity. Is God drawing you through this story of what He did for me? If so, be encouraged. Turn to Him in faith, believing on His Son Jesus Christ and turning away from all your sin. Go to church faithfully every week.